Finding Your Light

Reading self help books is something that I have enjoyed for a imagenumber of years. I have read so many of them now that I have lost count. I actually like them a lot and each one has something important to share. Even though I have done a lot of reading in the last 10 years, I have only recently understood that action is the key. Self help is not something you can do unless you are willing to help yourself and helping yourself requires action. One of the first actions that I have decided to take is in finding my light. That thing that makes you shine from the inside out. That gift that we have that we can share with others to help them light their own light.

Like almost everyone, my past is pretty dark. I have had some pretty shitty cards handed to me and I am lucky to be able to realize that I am NOT my past. I have been able to learn from past mistakes and propel forward with a better understanding of what not to do. I was a learn the hard way kind of person. We’re you? Out of this darkness and trial and error system I have learned something very valuable. Finding small flickers of light throughout my day helped me to find a way to ignite my guiding light or life purpose for those who need a less fluffy term.

The small lights for me usually two things, being of service to others or finding beauty in the every day stuff. Things like holding a door for a stranger, offering to load groceries for a senior, volunteering at the kids’ school or in my community are all things that light me up in service of others. Growing food and flowers, watching my laughing Buddha Baby with his toothless grin, the hilarious personality of Chaos (baby number 3) and her epic antics, Loki dog playing with a stick, finishing the dishes without interruptions are all small lights that make my heart sing with joy. These small lights are what keep me going when things get tough. Those days when all seems to be going wrong and we are late for something or things keep spilling or someone forgets something and I have to make an unexpected trip out of the house, there is ALWAYS something that comes up and rescues my day by way of a small light. You just need to be open and know that it will come. We will never see these little rescues if we don’t allow ourselves to know that they will come up. When you make the conscious choice to be open to the small lights they seem to show up at just the exact moment they are needed.

Once you start seeing and enjoying all these small lights they seem to accumulate into something bigger. They are guides like solar lights on a garden path. They move you into a space that will now support a larger light. Something that can shine on and on and seemingly fuel itself and light your soul up so that you are a beacon from the inside out. It oozes through you into your day to day life in a way that cannot be ignored and it is always positive. When we make that choice to shine everything just seems to fall into place all on its own. Worries fall away, fears dissipate into wisps of smoke, love flows easily from and to us, and everything seems synchronistic and lining up for us. It is the most magical thing.

For me, my guiding light is right here. I know that I am meant to help people find their light. I am meant to share myself and my own life lessons and help others find their own personal power. Often I do this without even thinking about it as helping. I encourage children to try again when they have given up, I hug my friend and tell her she is beautiful and loved, I make a meal for a friend who stopped by after work and is exhausted and they feel my love for them. I do whatever I can sometimes without thinking, to ensure that the people around me feel like they are good enough as they are. They are accepted for who they are and I will support them and encourage them on their own journeys to realizing how fucking awesome they are! That is my light, that is my purpose and that is what I am setting out to do. It is my goal to one day speak in front of groups. I want to share my light and help others find theirs. That is what drives me and that is how I shine. I lovingly nudge people to realize that they are amazing and can accomplish whatever they want to simply by being themselves and going for it!

What are your small flickers? What little things keep you going throughout your day? Have you found your guiding light yet? I would love to know what it is!! Leave a comment and share your light with the world!



Are You Connecting With Yourself?

Have you been running on auto pilot? Ever ask yourself why you do what you do or do you just float through your day doing what you always do? I was very much on auto pilot for a long time. I did everything I thought I needed to do without a single thought. I got up, had my coffee, got the kids off to school, fed the two at home, cleaned up the house, did homework and fell into bed. Always the same things without having any intention behind it. Like most BIG things in life, it smacked me. If I want to make changes then I need to create an intentional life. I began with connection. The process of getting “what now?” advice from yourself.

There are many names, many styles and many benefits to connecting with yourself. Meditation, setting intentions, core feelings, and the list goes on. I like to call it connection because for me, that is exactly what is happening, a connection with my inner self and the divine whole. It was never logical for me to try and practise a formal meditation, sit and clear your mind. The way that most people put it out there. I chose to develope a plan that worked for me. If you prefer more structure you can check out meditation classes or guided meditations. There are recordings, videos, or even groups that offer it. Find what works for you but really do it. This is process is a great jumping off point as it is simple and not overly “out there” like some practices can seem.

Make it a daily choice.

I have four kids. They have not in the 8 years of my parenting career had the exact same day 2 days in a row. So carving out a daily 6:00 am meditation time is not within my current means. I have had to take what time I get and work with it. I have made it a priority to find a time and take it! Sometimes it is at 6:00 am and sometimes it is at 10:00 pm because it is finally quiet and I am not running off my feet getting things done. I have allowed myself the flexibility of time but accountability of action in getting it done, no matter what! If you have the opportunity to set a dedicated time to do this then I suggest you do it. If you can do it on your train commute to work that is awesome! Morning coffee or lunch break, yupper! Set aside the time you think you need. Some days will be a 5 min check in, others could require 45 min to allow for cry time!

Get Comfy and Breathe.

Oh man, I can’t even tell you how big a deal this one is. If your lost on this concept, hit the net and find a good instructional video for breathing. I keep it simple. Find a quiet spot to sit or lie down. Make it a happy time, no guilt here. Take a deep breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Fill the lungs to capacity and release till empty. Take your time with this to get that relaxed “ahhhh” feeling, it is key. Can’t be relaxed while your ass cheeks are puckered tight from the reeling thoughts in your head! I keep this up until my day is no longer actively racing through my head and my thoughts are just blowing by like a cool breeze, you know it is there but it’s not distracting what your doing. I breathe until I don’t notice the thoughts. I focus on simply breathing through them. I have noticed for me that I have accomplished this when my body feels like it has settled into the floor. I am heavy but fully supported. From there I switch to regular breathing. You are nicely relaxed by this point so your breathe is naturally slower and deeper.


Everyone does it different and you need to find your own method here. Play around with this and enjoy the learning curve. Some visualize in pictures, some use their words (like reading aloud in your head), others sounds, smells or even colors. You can use whatever method feels the best and most alive for you. I suggest looking up a guided meditation and see how your mind “sees” what is going on. I am not really a visual person, I am audio. I seriously talk myself through my connection time and really everything else in my day. My husband tends to give me the sideways batshit crazy look when I carry on a kitchen conversation with myself. I start by creating a bubble sanctuary within and around myself. I think this is important because it gives a sense of security and safety when doing this kind of stuff and it also helps create a barrier against any negativity that might be floating around your space. It is there no matter how much sage you burn :)

Once I got my bubble set up, or really whatever safe haven you choose to create, I wait for someone to appear. Person, animal, random voice with no form, angel. Take whatever you get with no fear. I can feel it better than see it. I usually feel my higher self hanging out with me. She knows me the best and gives good advice! Then I either ask a broad question or a specific question. “What wisdom do you have for me?” Or “this is what I have going on, what can I do about it?”


If you do nothing else,this is the most important step! From the asking you must listen. Listen without judgement and don’t discredit any of the info given, no matter how strange it may be. Let it flow naturally because here there is no ego to block you and what is most important for you to know. Feel whatever answer is being offered up in your sacred space. Know that this is truth and heed it. When you are done receiving, thank whatever source has helped you out. Be greatful for the message that you were given and be respectful and use the information that you have gained. Sometimes these messages make no sense at the time. That is why writing it down is so key. It will allow you to take a look back later and be like “yeah, that makes so much sense now!” Allowing you to accept that universe and higher self have the inside track on what you go going on.


This I find is important. I have been interrupted before coming down from connection and it feels like someone cut me off at the knee. It is uncomfortable and I feel unbalanced. It is crucial that I am allow myself the opportunity to come back into myself like landing a plane. Descend from 1000 feet slowly, put the wheels on the tarmack level and safely come to a stop. I do this by saying my thank you, taking a deep breathe to begin my decent and then I count up from 1 to 5. I allow myself to feel lighter and come out of the anchored feeling that I get when I connect. When I hit five I allow myself to open my eyes and do the blinky, I just woke up to a room full  of light, thing. Take a couple “ok, I’m awake” breaths and know that I am fully present within myself. If you feel unbalanced or uneasy, close your eyes and count from 1 to 5 again and open your eyes when you are ready to. Don’t rush or force the process.


WRITE IT DOWN. Like a dream, if you want to remember it then write that shit down or it’s gone. You need to put pen to paper or whatever medium is relevant to you and write it out. You can either read it over now and mull on it throughout the day or you can sleep on it and look it over tomorrow. Do whatever feels right for you. This is so very personal and unique to each of us.

Granted this is a very loose model, it is what works for me. I love that I have provided myself this flexibility because as a recovering perfectionist I am VERY harsh on myself when things are not 100%. By allowing flexibility it allows my perfectionist to keep her BS to herself and I still get this done. This is where compassion comes into play, I accept that I didn’t have time to get it done buT take responsibility and commit to starting again. Our lives have a lot of unexpected shit tossed at us and sometimes things don’t go as planned, it’s all good and we always have the opportunity to try again and again. As many times as we start over is one more chance to succeed!

Did you try connecting? What happened? Already have a working process, what works for you?  Has connection made a difference in your life? Please share your experience with connection and how it has impacted you.




Find your Beauty and Own It!

When you look in the mirror do you automatically pick yourself apart? Criticize every flaw or imperfection staring you in the face? Well STOP! Instead, I would like to challenge you to really see your beauty and not just the flaws you want gone. With your own eyes be able to bask in the beauty that you bring to the table.

We all have those things that we don’t like about the way we look and it’s usually the first thing that we see. The big nose, gross pimple covered skin, jowls, puffy under eyes or wrinkles. They catch our attention faster than the radiant beauty that far outshines any percieved flaw that we think we have. Yet, we do not take the time out to truly see our own exquisiteness. We don’t waste our energy looking past that big pulsing pimple into the eyes of the beautiful masterpiece reflected back at us. Instead we just say “ick” and proceed to trowel on  makeup to cover it up.

Enough is Enough!! It is about high time we own our beauty. Today and for the next 7 days I challenge you to spend some time checkin’ yo’ hot self out. I want you to look at the mirror and see someone else and find their beauty. Check out the color of their eyes, that smile and those tiny laugh lines that are telling a story of how much happiness that face has seen. Really look at them and see everything that is truly amazing about that face and then OWN IT AS YOURS!! That’s right! Own that shit. Do your makeup to bring those baby blues out. Find the perfect foundation and highlighting powder to bring that chocolate mocha skin to it’s radiant glory and make them cheek bones sing. Gents, trim that beard so it’s a sculpted masterpiece. Laugh a little harder and bring on them smile lines! We are all so beautiful. Someone has looked at us, usually when we are not paying attention, and went “Fuck Ya, that’s sexy” but we don’t. We see ourselves as ugly, hideous even and that is only an image that we have created in our minds.

If you look at couples or friends walking down the street, you will notice that all types of people are attracted to different other types of people. Some folks like voluptuous women. Some like their girls stick thin. Some hunt out the fuzzy mountain men or pretty boys manicured to the nines. Some are all about the polor opposite. Besides lack of height my old man and I are totally opposite. He is built like a brick shit house and I am pretty tiny. He is blonde, I am darker. He has freckles and tans to a shade of holy friggin redness and I crisp nicely into golden brown. I love heat and sunshine and he hides in the shadows. We find the shade line outside and place our chairs on either side for coffee time. It is a sight! LOL.

We are all looking for different things in our people and I am pretty damn sure that someone wants what you got! How can you connect with people if you are too busy worrying about how bad you look when they don’t even see any of it. They wouldn’t be chatting with you if they couldn’t handle looking at you. If you don’t start owning your beauty and seeing how amazing you are JUST the way you are then you are going to miss out on amazing opportunities in life. You will spend time judging others based on their appearance, instead of focusing on more important things like, you know, a personality!  If we cannot embrace our own unique beauty and allow it to fill us up then we will never have enough to spill over and share or encourage another to find their own. It is hard to approach someone who is sending an “I fucking hate me” vibe because it is negative and hostile and others are going to either approach with caution or run to the hills. Happy people seek out other happy people, it’s universal law. So I suggest you seek out your beauty, find your happy, overflow your own soul and raise your vibration to tune into the beauty that is ALL AROUND!!

Please share with me about what you LOVE LOVE LOVE about yourself and how you are going to focus on that and allow everything else to fall away! How are you going to let go of your flaws and ONLY see the amazingness of your own face?!? I cannot wait to hear from you!